Wednesday, February 25, 2009

25 February 2009, Wednesday, 2037hrs

Om Namah Shivaya

It was a ridiculous morning to kick start today. Just say that I had a bad Wednesday.

Was hydrotherapying in the shower after gym when I received two calls from Monique and Constance: Andrew was summoning for me to attend a meeting which I wasn't aware and informed earlier. And the meeting was like "Hurry come up now, Edmund is here too". You bet I clad myself in the fastest speed I ever did this life time, transformed, and twinkled up to my work station, grabbed my logbook and pen and appeared in the meeting room; panting and looking flustered with my hair dripping wet, shirt creased and unbutton, and spotted with my trainers instead of a pair of dress shoes. Totally the after-sex-look.

Very unprepared for the meeting, especially on a sensitive subject which I expected our new Le Patron to throw fireballs at the team. For once, I felt handicapped. No surprise anyway, Le Patron shot not only fireballs that can potentially send those incinerator effect, but also a lethal one that can send you to explosion instantly. The team was set ablaze. Terrific. That's what I call the wake-up call.

Nothing to be alarmed too, I have been too immuned to such treatment. Don't get me wrong, that certainly doesn't equate to our incapability but the mere fact that my immediate boss has always been making the wrong judgment calls for projects, and the very fact that she's a terrible leader who steers her staff to the wrong direction, which always ends us in a maze than a labyrinth. Lost. It's funny, because when I was doing a TOL handover to Constance, she asked me the same question too: "Is she blur, or don't understand, or what?" My conclusion to her was "Simply bo chap". Frankly, how can one be so blur not even to understand the basics of survivorship? Well, put it this way, if she can keep herself floating this far in the organisation, that goes to show that she must be capable in an area which clearly, has not been manifested in this Division. If so, isn't that apparent that she simply doesn't bother to ace her current jobs since she has no interests or vested interest (to a certain degree) in any way? She remained almost silent in the meeting, and almost stepped herself (or rather the team - since she spoke on behalf of the team) into her (our) own booby traps - when she tried to explain why no details were drafted for CE! Thank God, whom I have been praying to (alot) lately, Andrew spoke up and did a pefect smoke-out for the team.

Speaking about God, I have been talking to Him alot lately. I wasn't expecting him to relief my sufferings or pains that I am going through at work. Just wanted to chat with Him and see if he has any views on my current state. Of course, His reply to me has always been simple. "Get some rest Beng, you are tired. Deal with the problem when it comes. There is always a solution to problems, and learn the art of letting go of emotions and focus on the subject when handling one."

My prayer (soon I believe) would encompass a Japa mala. I hope by the time when I hit the 108th beads, I would get an orgasm out of my own misery. Am thanking God that I can, and still able to rest on my bed now, to punch this journal out tonight. Workload has been piling and timelines are getting tighter too, but I am learning now the Art of Dharana - Fixing the mind on some object either within the body or outside - while at work: Focus, work non-stop and less (minimal or rather hopefully, NO talking cock session) nonsense during curriculum, when the hour/minute/second hand ticks to their respective 1800hrs position, I will just fuck off, and fuck my mind out of the fucking office for the fucking pressurising day. Hmm.. all right all right, I know that while learning the way, I should remain neutral and no swearing, but this wasn't quite spell out in the Art of Dharana - so who the fuck gives the fucking shit about fucking swearing? Oh, God, did you say, and I hear The Way does? Oh, where the fuck is my mala which I bought at the Tibetan camp in Nepal?! Fuck.

W&G or Eat Pray Love? I'll toss a coin. Can't stay up late anyway, it's another mad day tomorrow at work: I am not bothered and have not crafted the email for Andrew which is due tomorrow. I mean Hello? I need to sleep and eat. So give me a fucking break.

Sigh, what the fuck, guess I'll just skip W&G, Eat and Love, I shall pray and perhaps enjoy the silent night instead.

Om Namah Shivaya ........................Om Namah Shivaya - Thanks E. Gilbert, for passing the prayers.

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