4 May 2007, Friday, 12.15pm

... ... ... ... .... F-R-I-D-A-Y !!

3 May 2007, Thursday, 4.41pm

Reservist - a form of prostitutionistically feeling?

Just drank some dosage of Yomeishu, that's keeping me awake these days. Yes, I'm into tonic wine. But somehow, while the disclaimer says Yomeishu promotes improvement of fatigue and blood circulation, I don't seem to be quite benefiting from it. I still feel lethargic many times. Jeanne recommended feverfew for cure of migraine, hmm... i'll go scout for that one of these days. And Jeanne also recommended foot reflexology? No way! haaaahaa i did once in Beijing and my scream almost collapsed the building, then another time when the body masseur went south and hit the spot beneath my foot and I tell you, I jumped spontaneously and almost hit the masseur's face with my left foot! Mom said if i feel excruciating pain during foot massage, it means my internal organs are weak; the more pain I feel the weaker the organs are. Ouch!

Last Saturday marked the last session of tennis with Vincent, the Coach. The farewell was tough especially we've been with him for 2 odd years. We kind of exchanged our parting gifts and he received a red wine and we received a Prince shoebag each! A lovely one in fact. So the take-away from Vincent that day: go hook up with those who play at MG often, so that you can continue your momentum. So Daylea, we shall hook up someone this weekend!

Labour day has come and passed. I didn't feel recharged from the PH at all. Perhaps, it's the reservist thought that is pulling me down. Totally. I could feel the stress already! Last Sunday at Anthony's, he told me too to take the opportunity of downgrading since I am experiencing the strain on my left thumb inflammation. Nobody can really relate and feel the stress that I am going through with the reservist. This sounds bizarre, while many others enjoy having the break from work, I detest reservist completely. Simple, the fact that my former active unit had been disbanded, and now filling us like remnants into newly formed reservist units, ie, treating us like prostitutes, with no concerns of our adaptation within the unfamiliar unit, is the root cause of the unhappiness. The ordeal that we have to endure in the course of reservist was painful like daggers piercing right into our hearts too. The humiliation and the backstab, the suicidal thought behind all these intangible factors, is unspokenly strong. You may say I'm a weakling, but can you feel the hatred of the comfort women who suffered through the Japanese Occupancy? Till date, this hatred is and will never be resolved and dissolved, because of the humiliation and abused imprint they bore with them all these years. God of the Universe, if you are hearing me, please give me strength and power to live through the coming reservist, and if Lord may, please bless me with a downgrade, for life. While I would like to say life is unfair, I knew perfectly that He is putting me in this spot to attest my faith and believe in Him, and perhaps myself. I close my eyes now, for seconds to pray to myself, to hope, and to wish for a permanent downgrade, to be freed from wearing camouflage green and boots. Nothing much to ask for in my life, I don't aspire wealth, fame nor luck; just faith in getting me through this suffering forever. I'm so agonised by this reservist topic. Now, I'm nauseous.

French. Debated many rounds and also been haunting me weekly. Just as I thought I have already mastered the various tenses (present, passe compose, futur simple, imparfait and conditionnel), Karen introduced to us a new "box" of tenses! "Subjonctif"!!! And with subjonctif, there's a brand new set of present, passe compose, futur simple, imparfait and conditionnel tenses. I can hear St Bengelica calling, "Son, how well do thee want to know about French as a language? Perfect enough to make a living? Well enough so not to lose thy way and ask for directions? Good enough to use it in France during a week or two of vacation there? Search your heart and ask thyself truthfully." I have yet to ask myself. But as a promised to my frenchmates, I should be completing the intermediate sessions, at least. This will bring me through the rest of the year, and doing a quick finger check, I should complete the course by end of the year. Come to think about it, I have been learning and dropping French on and off for the past years, and accumulating the months and years, this should already be my 3rd year speaking the vous vous. By end 2007, I jolly well speak like a native, or else, I'll start speaking Sudanese, hmm, or maybe Icelandic?

The week kind of past quickly, somehow. I just hope that the week in camp will be as smooth and quick like now. sighzzz....

HOLY COWzzz! Just received another news that the last AD in my Div has thrown in her towel! Great Greek God, my Division is simply wiped out of heads, we are now living headless corpses, scrowling around aimlessly. How zombiefied. I can imagine those wagging tongues splattering saliva already. Needless to say also that rumours are rife of changes and replacements. Speculations are ceiling high with a pinch of spice. So super low morale. Why does it seem like it's an exodus here in the Board, in particular in my Division? So I heard about the temptations and buoyances of job opportunities out there, but is life always this complicated about changes and adaptation? I bet half of our life time are spent in adjusting to our surroundings and also the new phases of life that we challenge everyday. Is that what God moulded us for?

Speaking about God, for all religion, somehow there seems to be after life. Then what about Atheist? Where would they go after death? Scientifically speaking, once the heart and brain dysfunction, ie, dead, the body of the demise ends it there. So much for souls and after life. So, where will the souls of Atheist be heading to then? Mystery. Should we even believe in souls which as defined in dictionary as departed or disembodied spirit? Beats me, really.

So the day kind of ends with a very solemn mood for everyone here .... hmm....

Another cup of Yomeishu?